Overcome the Hurdles to Praying Together
Many couples understand - even applaud - the concept of praying together, but,
for a variety of reasons, never do it in their own lives. Many things in the
world can press in and keep couples from praying together. Making a commitment
to shared prayer, then keeping it can bring spiritual intimacy to your
marriage. Making prayer a top priority can make a marriage vital as you share
common concerns and joy in prayerful conversation with God.
Here are some barriers to praying together:
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Our lives are just too busy. Many couples have so many time constraints that
they find it hard to find a time to pray. Start small: everyone can find five
minutes in their day. Later, work at extending the time.
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We like doing things different ways. Some couples have different styles and
expectations for prayer and devotions. One may like praying at a regular time
each day while the other likes spontaneous prayer. These two styles can
sabotage each other when trying to set a time to pray together. When styles
differ, compromise is a must. Always keep the goal in mind: to spend time
together in prayer.
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We have different sleep patterns - or different work schedules. It's hard to
find a perfect time to pray. There may be several compromise times. Make a
commitment to pick a time and try it for a two-week period, then evaluate the
effects.
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We're just plain lazy. Making the commitment in writing can help overcome the
inertia of old behavior patterns. You never will experience the joy of shared
prayer unless you do it.
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I don't feel safe with my partner. Some couples are afraid of praying together,
especially praying out loud. Prayer is so personal and revealing and can be
difficult letting even your spouse get that close to you. Shared prayer is
worth the risk and can enhance marital intimacy.
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We have too much conflict in our marriage. Don't try to use prayer for
preaching at your spouse. Instead, use it as a tool to bring your marriage into
line with God's will. A willingness to continue shared prayer time in the midst
of conflict shows a commitment to God and the marriage.
-- Ed